The hidden toll of gambling on women in caregiving roles
The invisible burden
It's 3 AM. Emily stares at her kitchen table, illuminated only by the harsh glow of her laptop screen. Scattered around her are unpaid bills, bank statements, and a calculator. Her children sleep in the next room, unaware that their mother hasn't slept properly in weeks. This is the silent reality for countless women who find themselves picking up the financial pieces shattered by a loved one's gambling addiction.
"I never thought I'd be in this position," Emily confides, her voice barely above a whisper. "I was always careful with money. I had savings, plans for the children's education. Then I discovered the debt he'd hidden from me. I was completely blindsided."
Emily's story isn't unique. It's playing out in homes where women, particularly those in caregiving roles are disproportionately affected by the financial fallout of problem gambling.
A gendered financial gap
The statistics paint a stark picture. Women in the UK earn on average 7% less than men in full-time roles, according to the Financial Times. This pay gap widens significantly when women take on caregiving responsibilities, which often impact career progression and earning potential. Add a gambling crisis to this equation, and the financial pressure becomes crushing.
In my experience, women frequently end up becoming the financial safety net for their families. But when gambling addiction enters the home, that safety net doesn’t just stretch, it often snaps under pressure, leaving women to pick up the pieces emotionally and financially.
Perhaps most alarming is that up to 1.65 million children under 18 are growing up in households where an adult experiences problem gambling, as reported by The Guardian. These children frequently rely on mothers who must somehow stretch already limited resources to maintain stability.
Emily's story
Emily, 42, from Birmingham, never imagined she would become a statistic. A HR professional with over fifteen years of experience, she had always maintained financial independence. However, when her relationship with her children's father ended, she discovered a devastating truth: his gambling addiction had created a web of debt that had become legally entwined with her own finances.
"There were loans I didn't know about, credit cards in joint names I hadn't agreed to," Emily recalls. "Suddenly, I was being chased for payments I knew nothing about, while trying to find new housing and keeping my children's lives as normal as possible. It was sheer overwhelm and I felt helpless."
Emily's experience highlights how gambling addiction creates ripple effects that extend far beyond the individual gambler. As the primary caregiver for her two children, aged 9 and 12, she faced the dual challenge of managing her emotional response to betrayal while simultaneously rebuilding financial security.
"The hardest part was explaining to my children why we had to move to a smaller flat, why we couldn't afford the activities their friends were doing," she says. "I was working overtime, cutting every possible expense, and still falling behind."
The double burden of caregiving and financial recovery
Research consistently shows that women shoulder the majority of unpaid care work in society. When combined with the aftermath of gambling-related financial abuse, this creates a particularly challenging situation.
Having your own bank account is just the start. I always advise women to protect themselves by removing their name from joint accounts where needed, checking their credit file for unfamiliar activity, and even setting up a credit freeze if there’s a risk of new debts being taken out in their name.
This burden takes a measurable toll. Studies have found that women dealing with a family member's gambling addiction reported significantly higher levels of stress, anxiety, and depression compared to the general population. Many described feeling trapped in an impossible situation, unable to fully separate financially from the gambler, yet responsible for maintaining family stability.
Financial strategies for protection and recovery
For women facing these challenges, financial education and practical strategies can provide crucial support. Based on experiences from women who have successfully navigated these waters, here are three essential approaches:
1. Establish separate finances completely
Having separate bank accounts is just the beginning. l recommend a comprehensive approach to financial separation when gambling is involved.
For Emily, this step was transformative. "Once I had completely disentangled our finances and secured my own credit, I could start planning again without fearing unexpected debts would appear."
2. Check if you’re entitled to access government help
Many women hesitate to access available government benefits, often due to stigma or pride. However, these resources exist precisely for situations like financial recovery from addiction fallout.
The UK offers various forms of assistance for single parents and caregivers, including:
Universal Credit with childcare elements
Council Tax reductions
Discretionary Housing Payments
Healthy Start vouchers
Free school meals
"I initially felt embarrassed about applying for benefits," Emily admits. "But a support worker helped me see that these programs exist exactly for situations like mine—temporary support while rebuilding."
3. Engage in financial literacy programmes
Knowledge is power, particularly when rebuilding financial security. Specialised programmes focusing on financial recovery from gambling-related harm provide both practical skills and emotional support.
"Joining a financial literacy workshop at Bet On Her specifically for women affected by gambling changed everything," Emily explains."I initially felt embarrassed about applying for benefits," Emily admits. "But having an accountability coach helped me see that these programs exist exactly for situations like mine, temporary support while rebuilding."
Many provide women only spaces (such as Thrivin’ Together) where shared experiences can foster healing and practical problem solving.
Looking forward to a brighter future
Recovery from gambling-related financial harm isn't just about returning to the status quo, it's about building stronger financial foundations.
For women like Emily, the journey continues beyond the initial crisis. Two years after discovering her ex-partner's gambling debts, she has not only stabed her finances but developed new skills and confidence.
"I now have savings again, not much, but growing each month," she says with pride. "I've taught my children about money in age appropriate ways. And most importantly, I know the warning signs to watch for in any future relationship."
I recommend that women who have experienced financial harm related to gambling focus on building three key elements:
An emergency fund covering 3-6 months of essential expenses
Strong credit in their own name to ensure future financial independence
A support network of both professionals and peers who understand their specific challenges
Calling for systematic change
While individual strategies are essential, addressing the wider issue requires societal change. The intersection of gender inequality, caregiving responsibilities, and gambling harm creates vulnerabilities that individual women cannot be expected to overcome alone.
Financial institutions need better training to identify and support customers experiencing gambling-related harms. Policy makers must consider how gambling regulations impact not just gamblers themselves, but their families, particularly women and children.
Gambling harm doesn’t happen in isolation, it's a ripple effect that impacts entire families and communities. And too often, it’s women who are left dealing with the financial fallout. Until we challenge the deeper gender inequalities baked into our economic systems, that imbalance will continue.
Empower yourself
For women navigating the complex terrain of financial recovery after gambling harm, knowledge and community support are powerful tools. By understanding their rights, accessing available resources, and connecting with others who share similar experiences, women can move from crisis to stability and eventually to thriving.
Emily's parting advice to women in similar situations reflects both her struggles and her strength: "Document everything. Ask for help earlier than you think you need it. And remember that your financial situation does not define your worth, but taking control of it will change your life."
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If you or someone you know is affected by gambling-related harm, support is available through GamCare on 0808 8020 133 or at www.gamcare.org.uk.
For financial advice and support with debt, contact StepChange Debt Charity on 0800 138 1111 or visit www.stepchange.org.
